“Yes, I’ll have one order of the grilled macaroni...
xylophonetics asked: I saw Hot Topic has more Hipster Ariel shirts in stock, do you get any royalties from that or am I being a naive dum dum?
When people are finding meaning in things - beware.– Edward Gorey
It’s amazing and inspiring that we as a species are constantly capable of creating new things to complain about.
Bill Cunningham Has a Gun: A Play in One Act
ACT 1, SCENE 1: [A Street In Midtown Manhattan] Girl in cape: “Oh my god! I was shot by Bill Cunningham!” Girl in turban: “Congrats!” Girl in cape: “I’m literally dying!” Girl in turban: “I would too! I’m sooo jealous!” Girl in cape: “I can’t feel my legs…” Girl in turban: “Chic. What were you wearing!?” *Girl in cape collapses* Girl in turban: “So do you think it will get published?” ...
benjmonster asked: After you die, what do you most want folks to say about your life, your accomplishments, or your personality?
Spotify, This email was hard. The few weeks we spent together last year were great - before you began to ask me for things I wasn’t prepared to give you. I don’t feel like I led you on. You knew when we started this that I just wanted it to be causal, a trial, a beta. But you just kept asking me to commit. To upgrade to premium. I couldn’t do that. I just wasn’t in the right place at...
If you live in a battleground state, you should vote today. If you don’t live in a battleground state, you should vote today. If you like your country, you should vote today. If you don’t like your country, you should vote today. If you breathe, you should vote today. If you don’t breathe and are able to survive outside the physical burdens of respiration, you should vote...
Beyond the age of information is the age of choices.– Charles Eames
Baby carrots have a misleading name. They’re actually just adult carrots that have been cut down into smaller chunks so that they’re more manageable and easier to shove into your mouth for consumption. If you were to stumble upon a human adult’s decapitated head while you were running in the park, like joggers often do in the opening scenes of “Law and Order,” you probably wouldn’t say, “Look at...
Braden Graeber Halloween Costume
Be me in five simple steps! PLAID SHIRT + JEANS + DESERT BOOTS + THIS MASK + THESE GLASSES = THE SCARIEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER ( Technically it would be seven steps if you were to wear socks and underwear. But that is two extra steps and I don’t.)
If you haven’t noticed already, the tone and content of this blog is currently shifting. I’m going to try to post more cool/weird/funny things that I find interesting and less sarcastic/pessimistic/dumb things based off of my tweets. If this concept rubs you the wrong way, feel free to unfollow now. I’m totally kidding, please don’t unfollow me.
Things are only depressing if you make the...
Your questions are fun. →
talltalespodcast: Nikki and I sit down with Braden Graeber, twitter-ly known as Hipster Mermaid, a hilarious writer, tweeter, and all around funnyman who’s outlook on life we both enjoy. We talk about Pop up video, SNL joke pitching, the similarities between french accents and how deaf people talk, meeting Paris Hilton, Youtube candle reviews, and we close strong with a good 15 mins on...